Bella of the Volturi
by Citizen of Volterra
Summary: Bella, never having gone cliff diving and never reuniting with Edward, moves to Rome. When Aro find her and learns he can't read her mind, he changes her. How will this effect the Cullens when Aro invites Carlisle and his coven for a friendly visit?
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so for this story to make sense, there is only one diversion from the actual storyline of new moon, and that is that Bella and Jacob never become friends, which changes a lot, I know, but still…

So, what does happen is: Edward leaves, Bella gets all zombie-like, the whole conference with Laurent happens (including Jacob and the pack saving her, but hey, they save humans, it's their thing…) revealing that Victoria is after her, Bella graduates high-school, and finally, she decided that she can't stay with her father anymore because her presence is putting him right in Victoria's path. She takes the money she has from what would have been her collage fund, and moves to Europe (AKA: overseas; luring Victoria far, far away from Forks and the people she loves)

So, not that the preamble is out of the way, let the story commence!

Bella POV

I was walking through what I knew to be the slums of the great city of Rome that for the last few moths I'd called home. Somewhere, deep down, I knew I should be afraid for my safety. It was probably because I could hear the murmur of Edward's voice, faded with time, whispering its concerns in my mind. It was nice, having the feeling that he was with me, whispering so low, it sounded like nothings in my ear. The moon shone bright above me, and it both lessened and brought pain as I realize that somewhere, Edward was seeing the same moon that I was. I walked past a man who was leaning nonchalantly against a dirty brick wall next to the mouth of an alley. I was just about to be past him, when I felt him grab my arm and pull me into the alley push me against the wall, where he held me with a knife at my stomach.

"dammi il tuo denaro!" he demanded in a rough voice. I didn't exactly understand what he'd said, but I'd been here long enough to know he wanted my money. I turned my empty purse over and let the inconsequential contents fall out, showing him without speaking that I had no money. He scowled at me, then plunged the knife into my abdomen. The pain felt alike a pinprick at first, and I wasn't sure if he'd actually stabbed me, but the real pain came soon enough. He pulled the knife out, escalating the pain. I fell to the floor with no more sound than a muffled thud. I was vaguely aware of him stalking away as I grabbed my wound in pain.

Though this hole in my middle was much more physically real than the pain I felt when I thought of my lost love, I found myself acknowledging that the delusional pain was much, much worse. I could both feel my heart weakening and feel my blood draining out of me as I lay in the alley, waiting silently for death.

For a second, I thought I had closed my eyes, but I realized that before me was another man in a dark grey cloak.

"Quale uno spreco." He said in an utterly beautiful, melancholy voice. He crouched down and took a deep breath in through his nose. "Ah, deliziosi!" I had already figured out what he was, even before I caught a glance of his blood-red eyes.

"Vampire." I muttered as my conclusion was confirmed.

He laughed, rather amused by my comment. "And how, my dear, might you know that?" Before I could answer, he reached out his hand and touched my face. His fingers felt like cold shale as the lingered on my skin. A second later, they hastily moved to my shoulder, my arms, my hands, any bit of bare skin. "Why can't I see?" he asked himself.

I felt my consciousness fading, but I mouthed the first conclusion my mind jumped to. "You can't read my mind." And I was gone.

APOV

Rome, my favorite city in Italy next to my own Voterra. I always thought that throughout my 3000 odd years, I had never spent enough time in Rome. Perhaps Supicia and I would take a short vacation here in the future; only a year or two. The nights here were beautiful, not to mention that there were always a few unluckily potent humans wandering alone in the dark. I knew I could dispose of any bodies better than the newborn I had just come here to dispose of. It was almost disappointing, how easy he was to take down. The wind changed direction, ever so slightly, and I was hit with amazingly delicious smelling blood, fresh from the body. I followed the scent back to a girl bleeding in an alleyway. She was pretty, for a human, and I looked down at her for a moment. What delicious blood she had! "Quale uno spreco." I murmured. Blood like this should not spill onto the floor. I bent down and took in a deep breath through my nose. Her redolence was intoxicating. "Ah, deliziosi!" I leaned my head closer to taste her ruby blood, when she whispered something I hadn't expected.

"Vampire," she said almost as if she hadn't meant to say it aloud. I couldn't help but wonder how she'd come to such a conclusion. I laughed at her unexplained knowledge.

"And how, my dear, might you know that?" I reached out and placed my hand on her face, waiting for her stream of thoughts and memories.

They didn't come.

I moved my hands over other parts of her bare skin, looking for a place through which I could see her thoughts.

"You can't read my mind." She said groggily. How did she know _that_!? She closed her eyes, slipping into unconsciousness, I presumed. But I couldn't loose her now! I needed answers! I pulled her wrist up to my mouth and bit. I did the same with her other wrist, ankles, and throat. She gasped for air, suddenly wide-awake and in pain, but to my great surprise, she did not scream. I recalled quickly that there was a sewer just around the corner from here that I could hide her in. I picked up her body, scrunched into the fetal position in pain, and brought her to the familiar manhole. I waited three days below the surface before I heard her heartbeat speed, then stop. She sat up slowly and looked down at her now snow white arms. I put a hand on her face, hoping to see her mind.

Nothing.

"How did you know what I was?" I asked her without thinking. "No, first, how do you keep me out of your mind?" I edited, deciding to ask first what I wanted to know most.

"I don't know." She admitted. She was looking around herself, taking in her surroundings. "Where are we?" she asked.

"In a sewer," I answered in a rushed voice. "How did you know?" I asked, re-voicing my first question.

She sighed. A look of pain crossed her face. "That's a _long_ story," she said dismissively. "Who are you?" she asked, though I wasn't sure if she was intent on changing the subject, or if it was just the mind flood that being a newborn brought.

"I am Aro, of the Volturi." I stated proudly, waiting for her to ask what the Volturi was.

"Aro, Caius, and Marcus," she agreed, recalling it like it was a memory from a very long time ago. I almost asked her how she knew us, but realized it would come when she finally explained her peculiar knowledge.

BPOV

It was already night when relief from the burning started to spread through me. Aro warned me to hold my breath until we were out of the city, which didn't take long, moving at the speed we did. It only took us half an hour to run to the much smaller city Aro wanted to bring me to. We stopped a few miles from the gate, and I could see the beautiful, castle-like township of Voterra.

"I must warn you," he started, "you can _never_ hunt in the city. I know control isn't a trait of newborns, but if you break our rules, we will be forced to destroy you."

I nodded. "I'll try my hardest."

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So let me know what you think!

Reviews keep me writing^_^


	2. Chapter 2

**3 Months Later**

EPOV

"If you aren't here to tell me you finally see Bella, which you aren't, I don't want to hear it." I said to Alice as she silently appeared at the door to my room.

"Carlisle wants to talk to you." She said simply.

I sighed. I stood and stalked out of my room and into Carlisle's office.

"I needed to ask you something." Carlisle said as he put away the book he'd been skimming through.

"I know," I said. I picked his reason out of his head. "The Volturi have invited us to Italy. You want to know if I'll be going with you."

"Will you?" he asked. He really wanted me to. He hoped it would help me be less depressed.

I sighed. "It won't, but I'll go."

He smiled sadly. "Thank you."

I didn't respond.

Arriving in Voltera, we were greeted by one of the Volturi guards, who brought us into a huge, castle-like building. The entrance hall looked normal enough, but we were brought down an elevator and into a large room that was made of old stones and had the smell of blood stained into every inch of it.

"Carlisle! My dear friend!" The man I knew to be Aro greeted my father. He approached him and pulled him into a hug, before hold up his arm as if to shake hands.

"How have you been?" he asked, prompting his hand forward, as if the formal greeting would answer such a question.

Carlisle took his hand, and for a moment, Aro went into a state not unlike Alice's when she was having a vision. It took me until the moment that I saw Carlisle's memories racing through Aro's thoughts to remember Aro's mind reading gift. After a long moment, they let go.

"It's so very nice to see that things have been going well for you." He said sincerely.

Carlisle was about to return the compliment, when a man with long dark hair, who I could hear from his mind was a tracker, said, "Jane is back in the city, and Heidi will arrive in an hour with the banquet." His mind went off to think about the busload of people coming for the Volturi's feast. It was disgusting, I tried to focus on someone else's thought, but now they were all thinking about the humans whose lives were about to be lost. I knew I would have to leave; I hadn't hunted in four weeks, and that much spilt human blood would be hard to ignore. It would be painful, though. I deserved much more pain than the dull burning that resided in my throat now. My thoughts were cut off as two cloaked figures entered the room. One was as short as Alice, and the other as tall as-

The other one was taller.

They walked right past us, not even glancing at us, though I knew they'd seen us. Something about them had Jasper confused, but I was too focused on the taller of the new arrivals to really hear what it was.

The way she moved, the way she stood when she stopped in front of Aro, The way her dark cloak hung, only hinting at the slender figure beneath it.

"Ah, Jane, Bella, welcome back."

No. No, no, no! It wasn't possible!

"Glad to be back." Her voice, completely different yet exactly the same, sang. I struggled to stay standing upright. I vaguely noticed my family's surprised thoughts joining my own.

"How did your mission go? Did you dispose of the _problem_?" he asked suggestively. He'd sent Bella to kill someone. I held myself in place tighter.

"No." Jane's voice shrieked resentfully. "Little miss goody-goody here wouldn't do it!" She spoke accusingly, like _not_ killing someone was a crime that needed punishment.

"We do not offer second chances." Aro reminded her sternly.

"Please, Aro, understand. This is not a second chance; he never did anything to his first." Bella's voice almost pleaded.

"Please do explain." Aro said in a curious tone as he stretched his arm out. Bella approached him, taking down her hood as she did.

God, she was beautiful!

Aro placed his hand on her cheek, filling me with unexplainable rage and jealousy. He could touch her, he could read her mind; both things I could not. I listened for the flood of memories, but for a long moment none came.

"Bella?" Aro asked.

"I'm sorry," she started solemnly, "I'm trying, really I am. But I thought, why not practice selectivity while I can. There's no need for anyone _else_ to see what happened."

She was talking about me.

"Brilliant!" Aro praised. "Please, please, go right ahead." He urged.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her entire body became rigid with concentration. Aro smiled.

"Brilliant!" Aro said again as he lowered his hand from her face. "Absolutely brilliant!"

"Thank you." Bella said in a delighted voice. I knew that tone. She was pleased with herself.

"Now, back to the matter at hand," he started. "That was a powerful vampire you let go free."

"He didn't _do_ anything, though. It was his creator who was causing all the problems. He was innocent." She took a deep breath. "I won't kill an innocent creature." She said.

Jane was staring at Bella with an angry expression.

"Jane, will you _please_ stop trying to torture me!" she said in an irritated tone. Jane looked away like a child who was caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "I can feel it, you know." She stated simply. "I can feel you, too, Jasper." She said, without even glancing at him. Confusion hit again. Mine along with the rest of my family's.

"Sorry." Jasper said slightly embarrassed and guilty. I looked over to him, silently questioning what Bella was talking about. _I'll explain later._ His mental voice promised.

Aro sighed. "I guess he hadn't done anything wrong…" Aro mused. "Besides, perhaps we could get him to join in the future. The things a mental projector could do were he working for us."

Jane huffed. This mental projector had tricked her into fighting a mirage. "I don't like him."

Ah, dear Jane, don't be put off. He could have done the same to any of us." He said soothingly. "Almost any of us." He quickly amended as he glanced at Bella.

Jane sighed in admittance, though she was still upset.

"Don't worry." He started again. "Heidi will be here soon. That will cheer you up."

Jane smiled.

"How soon?" Bella demanded urgently. It hadn't even crossed my mind until now. Was Bella a vegetarian?

"About an hour." Aro answered.

"Fourty-seven minutes." Alice corrected.

"Less than an hour, then." Aro said with an amused laugh.

Bella released the tense breath she was holding. "Perfect." She said simply. I never would have guessed that Bella would ever hurt anyone. It was even painful, to think that this was what she had been reduced to. "I'll see you in two."

She turned on her heel, her dark cloak flowing like water behind her, and glided out of the room. I saw as she walked past me, her eyes, still very red with being a newborn, were only just beginning to turn gold.

She _was_ a vegetarian. I should've known. I hated myself for even entertaining the thought that Bella, perfect, loving, caring Bella, would ever kill an innocent person.

"Have fun with your animals." Jane called teasingly after her.

"I will." She promised. She stopped walking half way down the hall and sighed. "Please, Jasper." She pleaded with exasperation in her voice.

"Sorry." He sounded truly guilty this time.

"Thank you." She said as she continued walking down the hall and through a large door.

"Demetri, please show the Cullens to the library." Aro said, knowing we wouldn't want to be around when Heidi did get here. A vampire led us down the same hallway Bella had just left through, and much to my discontent, turn right where she'd turned left. He led us into an enormous library, then left, anxious to feast, though leaving soon wouldn't hasten Heidi's return. They were all staring at me, I could hear them wondering how I was holding up in their minds, and I tried to ignore them.

"Why was she asking you to stop?" I said, turning minutely to Jasper.

"I was trying to see how she was feeling." He explained.

"You couldn't?" Carisle asked. Jasper shook his head. "Maybe she can keep out more than just Edward now." He mused.

"That's probably why I couldn't see her all this time." Alice said. "Maybe nobody can see her now."

"Aro could read her mind." I reminded them.

"And I couldn't _not_ feel her…" Jasper started uneasily. We all looked at him questioningly. "When she first walked in, she saw us, and she was surprised, then all emotion vanished." He explained.

"So she didn't care that we were here?" Rosalie asked.

"No, I can feel indifference. This was _nothing_. Not the not-caring nothing, not the depressed nothing, but _nothing_. It was like she wasn't even there."

"I wasn't feeling _nothing_." Bella's voice rang from the doorway. I hadn't even noticed she was there, and judging by everyone else's reactions, neither did they. "Sorry to sneak up on you, I forgot to grab a book on my way out." She sighed. "I was blocking you, Jasper." She explained. "It's good practice. I've been blocking Alice for months now." She shot Alice an apologetic glance. "Sorry. I wouldn't have if I'd known you were actually looking for me."

"But why would you block us?" Jasper asked.

She was thoughtful for a moment, before sighing "Practice." She moved into the room with incredible grace, even for a vampire, and her cloak undulating behind her. She began to scan the bookshelves. "Almost everyone here I block naturally; there's no effort behind it. Then there's you and Alice, who I have to _try_ to keep out constantly. It's good practice, and God knows I need it."

"Practice?" Carlisle asked. "Practice for what?"

"Oh, um, nothing really." She said uneasily. "Just needing to get a handle on my powers in general, you know. I'm on the guard; I'm no use to them if I can only protect myself." She went back to perusing the bookshelf.

"How have you been, darling?" Esme asked her. She had always worried about Bella.

"Oh, you know, blood-thirsty." She joked, trying to keep a light tone. She sighed. "But really, fine, I guess. I can find solace in the fact that Charlie would be proud that I'm upholding the 'law', though I don't know how he would feel about working under murderers for all intents and purposes. And well," she looked down sheepishly. She would be blushing if she was human, and it brought a whole new wave of emotion to me. "I always at least hoped, Carlisle, that you would be proud of me for abstaining from human blood, especially in a place where it's so excepted." She sighed. "I know, it's silly for me to be thinking about things like that, but my mind has had a lot of time to wander…"

"I _am_ proud of you." Carlisle said assuringly, as he put his hand on her shoulder sympathetically.

"Thank you." She said with a soft smile. She turned back to the bookshelf, and finally pulled down a copy of _The Old Man and the Sea_. She sighed again as she ran the pages through her fingers. "It's horrible," she started solemnly, "to be so close to everything you ever wanted," she looked up at me, staring into my eyes for the first time since I'd left her in November, "and know that you can never have it." Her gaze dropped down back to her book as she opened it to the first page. She glided out of the room, leaving me breathless and motionless.

It was a long, tense moment in the room after she left. There was no question of the meaning behind her words.

When I'd first realized that Bella truly was one of us, I first loathed myself for letting something like this happen to her, but soon after, I couldn't stop myself from being ecstatic. Now that Bella was a vampire, there was a chance that we could be together. Not now, not while she still hated me, as I deserved, for leaving her, but one day, maybe.

That ridiculous dream was shattered. She made it perfectly clear that I would never be able to have her. Never again be able to call her mine. Never again be able to hold her in my arms. And this time, I had nothing to condole myself. I had already let the worst happen to her, she was already a monster like all of us.

The rest of my family had heard the same thing in her words that I had. They were all feeling pity for me. Pity I didn't deserve. I couldn't hold myself up anymore; I fell to my knees. I would be crying were it possible. My mother's arm was suddenly around my shoulder, trying to comfort me. I didn't deserve happiness, but Bella did.

"Jasper?" I asked. He looked at me, confused. "I know I always tell me not to make me feel happy, but I can't keep this pretense up on my own." I told him.

He understood. "You want to seem happy so Bella doesn't feel guilty." He guessed.

I nodded.

Esme's grip on me tightened. She wanted to be able to tell me that it was going to be okay, but knew it was empty promise.

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And this is why the story is under the category: angst

^_^

I'll put the next chapter up as soon as I can

Oh yeah, so this story jumps POV a lot... sorry if that bothers you, but I reserve the right to jump into any character's head at any time!

PLEASE REVIEW!!! I shall grant you virtual pie if you do! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to all of you who reviewed! Let there be pie!!!^_^

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BPOV

I could feel my legs shivering ever so slightly, and I was suddenly amazingly grateful that I was wearing the dark grey cloak. I looked down at the book I'd just pulled off the shelf. _The Old Man and the Sea_. I hadn't read it since the 7th grade, but I remembered much of it. I remembered how the old man fought for days and days to catch the fish, when loosing it to the ocean was inevitable. "It's horrible," I started solemnly, "to be so close to everything you ever wanted," I'd been avoiding looking at Edward, I had so successfully, though unintentionally, forgotten the finer details of his perfection over the almost year I was without him. But I was thinking about it as I was leaving, the pain would be worth it. I wanted to have him engraved in my memory forever. So, I slowly looked up at him, staring into the coal black of his eyes, and I knew that I would never be able to feel the unfamiliar sensation looking in his eyes brought with anyone else, "and know that you can never have it." My gaze dropped down back to my book and I turned open the first page. I waited for a moment, vainly hoping that he would say something about my assumption being imprecise, but he said nothing. I turned and walked out of the room, starting to read as I escaped the castle into the trees behind the city walls.

I sat under one of the larger trees and read the entire book in minutes. There was one thing that struck me. The old man was happiest when he even just imagined what would happen if he got the fish back home.

Happiness. A feeling I assumed was long since gone, but staring into Edward's eyes, I could feel it. Under the pain and disparity, I could feel happiness just from being in his presence.

I ran a few miles into the woods, plotting ways that I might be able to be happy for a moment without being in pain the next. I caught a few deer before thinking about returning to the castle. I ran halfway back before I realized that my two hours were probably not up yet, and I didn't have to be back until they were.

I sat against another tree and closed my eyes.

But how did I bring happiness, even for a fleeting moment? I had an idea. I let myself slip into a daydream, something I intentionally hadn't done in too long a time. The thoughts I allowed to run through my mind were sure to bring pain. Imagining myself in Edward's arms, no colder than I was, holding him to me with my new strength, and being satisfied never to let go. I dreamt of us being together, being married, of living with Carlisle and Esme as my makeshift parents, of Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper my siblings. I let visions of repeating high school as a vampire roam through my head, imagining myself dealing with petty teenage dramas rather than emerging vampiric wars.

The time passed too quickly, and I knew I had stayed out too long because I could feel Demetri pressing against my shield, trying to find where I was. I forced my shield down as I stood and began to run back towards Volterra. I let it bounce back up after a minute. He knew where I was, he knew where I was headed, and that would be enough to calm them.

I came to the castle secret entrance by the outer wall after a short run and went in. I was walking towards the library, where I knew Aro would be, when I caught my reflection in a mirror.

I was smiling.

Only slightly, but still. I couldn't even remember the last time I smiled. Daydreaming had definitely been a good idea. I started humming to myself as I continued down the long halls of the castle. I entered the big, stone room that smelled like blood, still humming. I turned to face Aro, and found Felix and Demetri standing close behind me.

"Hello." I said gleefully. Their presence didn't make me exceptionally gleeful, but I was determined to not let anything diminish my mood now.

"It's nice to see you back." Felix said. I had always been a little suspicious of Felix, Demetri, and Santiago. They liked me a little more than made sense.

"It's nice to be back." I lied. I turned Demetri. "Will Santiago and Renata be back soon?"

He looked irked by the question. "They left Spain this morning, so very soon now."

"Thanks." I said as I left the room. I walked down the hall, continuing to hum to myself, until I reached the library, where the Cullens were convened. I sauntered in, feeling both the earlier happiness increase and spiral downward as my eye caught Edward laughing at something Emmett had just said. _Smile_, I told myself, and surprisingly enough, I could. They all looked up as they noticed me walk in, Jasper the only one with any sort of suspicion in his eyes. I would have to keep a better watch over my shield.

"You look like you're in a better mood." Jasper said.

"You would know." I pointed out.

He laughed. "Not with you, I wouldn't." That was good; my shield was working.

"Good hunt?" Alice asked.

"Not particularly." I said as I put my book back on the shelf I found it on. "I just- I don't know… Ever just feel…" I spun around as I searched for the right word, knowing it was something more complex than the one I'd thought of. Nothing came to mind, and I realized that it was because there was nothing complex about what I was forcing myself to feel. It was complicated as to _how_ I'd gotten to this point, but the emotion was as simple as it was obvious. "happy?" I asked, confident that it was in fact the right word.

Nobody actually answered, I hadn't expected them to, but as they considered the question, they all looked at their respective soul mate and smiled. Edward was scanning one of the large bookshelves.

"Alice," I started, pulling her attention away from Jasper, "will it be cloudy any of the days you're all here? I would love to show you around the city."

"Actually, it'll be pretty overcast later today and tomorrow." Alice said, her eyes faintly off focus and her head cocked slightly to one side.

"Perfect." I said, walking back towards the door. "I'll be right back, I just need to go put this in the laundry pile." I said, tugging at the end of my cloak, which had a little blood on it. I went to my room to grab a new cloak before taking the old one off, but found that I didn't have any. Renata was the only person I felt comfortable asking any sort of favor from, so I would have asked her to borrow one of hers, but she wouldn't be back for a while. I sighed as I pulled the cloak over my head, and put it in the laundry pile anyway.

All I was wearing now were the only clothes I had to my name: some old jeans, and a white t-shirt that, for many reasons, I couldn't wear in public.

I sighed as I made my way back to the library. This conversation wasn't going to be fun.

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Short in comparison, I know… but I'm already working on the next chapter and this was the most convenient place to end it.

Sorry for the cliff hanger, hopefully, if you REVIEW, you'll get answers sooner… *winks suggestively*


	4. Chapter 4

Just a little recap for all of you keeping up with this story in real-time

_All I was wearing now were the only clothes I had to my name: some old jeans, and a white t-shirt that, for many reasons, I couldn't wear in public._

_I sighed as I made my way back to the library. This conversation wasn't going to be fun._

And now we find out _why_ it won't be fun^_^

Have fun!

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EPOV

"Ever just feel…" Bella pirouetted gracefully, unable to contain her hitherto unnamed emotion, "happy?" My family all looked lovingly at one another, and even with Jasper forcing happiness into my expression and behavior, I knew the answer I couldn't speak. _Not anymore_. I started scanning the bookshelves, looking for something to pretend to read. I tried to tune out the rest of their conversation, but couldn't help but find myself unwilling latch onto every perfectly sung word that flowed past her lips. She wanted to take us on a tour of the city later today. I couldn't help but wonder whether spending more time with her would be a good thing or a bad thing for my mental state, but either way, I knew that every fiber of me wanted to. She waltzed out of the room all too soon, and I pretended not to notice. Jasper was worried about me, he could feel the pain lying just beneath the false happiness. It was only a minute or two before Bella returned.

"What are you wearing?!" Alice nearly screeched. At most times, I would have been able to laugh at Alice's utter amazement at Bella fashion sense, or lack there of. But something was off here. The rest of my family was just as appalled as Alice. I looked at Bella. Her jeans were old and faded, but that wasn't the problem. A small piece of Bella's abdomen, just above her navel, was showing through a linear, fading bloodstained rip in her shirt.

"It's the only shirt I have." She explained. "The color never quite washed out, but I got rid of the scent. They have a lot of bleach around here."

I only barely heard her words, as did the rest of my family. They were still staring at her in amazement.

"How is _that_ your only shirt" Rosalie asked with disapproval.

"It was what I was wearing when I got stabbed." Bella explained. My mind completely stopped working for a moment, and then it turned back on with fervor.

_BELLA WAS STABBED?!?!_ I demanded of myself. How could I have let this happen to her? I should have been watching her after I left. No, I should have never left. She could feel the shocked silence in the room, and became uncomfortable. "I was walking around Rome at night, and got mugged, but I didn't have any money, so the mugger stabbed me." She explained hurriedly. Everyone was still silent. "Yeah… Getting stabbed, not so fun."

Emmett broke out into laugher, which I would have been angry about if it hadn't made her smile.

"It was for the best, anyway. If Aro hadn't smelled my blood, he never would have found and changed me. Well, if he didn't fail to read my mind he wouldn't have saved me anyway…" she mused. "Of all the vampires to run into while your bleeding to death, a curious one is al ways the best." She added with a smile.

"Why ever were you in Rome, dear?" Esme asked, voicing a question I was wondering about in the back on my head.

"I moved there after high school." She explained. "I had to lure Victoria away from Forks one way or another."

_VICTORIA?!_

My entire family bellowed my concern for me.

Bella flinched. She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "Yeah… I guess you guys don't know about that… Well, um… Victoria sort of came back to kill me. See, she swore a Vendetta on me after the whole thing with James, and wanted to kill me because Edward killed him. 'Mate for a mate' or something as Laurent put it. Like it matters, if she realized how sorely she was mistaken, she probably would have left me alone anyway…"

I had left Bella to be killed by other vampires. The realization was still slowly sinking in, self-loathing accompanying it. I thought she would be safe if I left her, but my only legacy was that I'd pinned other angry predators against her.

"Wait, Laurent?" Rosalie asked.

"He tried to kill me, too. But it wasn't anything personal; he just ran into me in um…" she glanced over at me, "in a meadow while he was hunting."

Did she just excuse someone for trying to kill her because 'it wasn't anything personal'?! I knew I would have killed him for it anyway; I wanted to kill him now.

"Then he was chased off by these giant wolves." She shuttered. "Talk about nightmares come to life. I couldn't sleep for weeks!" She was talking about almost being killed multiple times like she would some embarrassing faux pas.

Alice was thinking daggers at me.

_You told me not to look for her! You promised me she would be safe!_ I deserved to be mentally screamed at by her. I deserved much, much worse than that. _I knew I should have kept an eye on her_.

_We never should have left,_ Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were all thinking.

_Poor dear. Stabbed…_ Esme was thinking.

_Good thing Aro found her,_ Carlisle mused. _A stab there is easily a kill._

I couldn't listen to this anymore. I was about to come up with some reason to excuse myself when another two other vampires came into the room.

"Renata, Santiago!" Bella smiled. She asked Renata to borrow a cloak after hugging Santiago, and the friendly action filled me both with jealousy and with self-hatred. Renata disappeared out of the room and returned seconds later with a dark grey cloak for Bella. They excused themselves quickly, needing to go and report back to Aro as was necessary after going on one of his 'missions'. I caught briefly that they had taken down a newborn with a peculiar talent to see through the eyes of another. Bella easily and gracefully pulled the cloak over her head, and though the proof that I had failed her was out of sight, it was not yet out of mind.

"I'm so sorry." I said, no louder than a whisper. I knew they heard, even if they weren't all staring at me I would know. I met Bella's cherry-red eyes. Jasper's influence was the only thing that allowed me to keep my words from breaking and my eyes from surrendering the gut-wrenching regret I felt. "I thought you would be safe." Confusion crossed her face, like she couldn't understand why I would care about her safety. Did she not care about mine? It hurt more than before to realize that Bella didn't just not love me anymore, but actually had no friendly feelings for me whatsoever. It seemed that if I died, her biggest worry would be consoling Alice. Yes, death, that would be easier to handle than this.

Alice shot me a scared glance as the possibility briefly passed through my head. _No. Please, don't_ she was begging. I rolled my eyes at her, trying to show her how ridiculous the thought was. I wouldn't do it, if for no other reason, because I wouldn't give Bella something to feel guilty about. Alice concentrated on any possibility of me ending my own future, and was satisfied enough when she found none.

"You don't have to be sorry." Bella's voice sang, pulling me out of my silent conversation with Alice. "It's not your job to protect me." She sounded completely sure of herself. I wished she knew that if I could, I would give my own life to protect her. She laughed once. "No, that hasn't been your job for quite some time now." She seemed to consider that for a second, before smiling a brilliant white smile at us. "So who wants a tour of the city?"

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	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, but it's the end of the school year and I have 4 projects to do and 3 tests to study for!!!

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EPOV

I felt bad for Jasper. As we walked through the streets of the cloudy city, I could tell he was working almost as hard as I was to keep my misery out of my actions and expressions. Bella walking was something between waltzing and gliding, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. It took an enormous amount of effort just to look up at any particular monument she was pointing out to us. She was just about to lead us down a street that was occupied by little boutiques and clothes stores, where I knew we would lose her to Alice's insisted shopping spree, when some small part of my mind that observed everything noticed that two children were arguing by a fountain in a square across the street. I wouldn't have given it another thought if Bella hadn't looked over to them, concern crossing her face. The six or seven year old boy pushed the girl who looked the same age as him. She hadn't even reached the floor yet when Bella's expression passed through pity and into determination and she decidedly started across the stone street to the girl. Her hand's scraping collision with the ground broke her skin, and I could smell her blood from where I stood, and though it was nothing for me or most of my family, I could see all of them but Carlisle tense just the slightest amount; Jasper held his breath. But Bella continued in an uninterrupted line to the girl, who was just beginning to cry. She didn't flinch, she didn't tense, and she didn't hold her breath. Jasper looked at me, mirroring the worry in all of our expressions, and took off walking quickly (for a human) after her. Bella was a newborn. The fact that she was able to keep a human façade as she approached the girl was already amazing. Jasper stopped cold when Bella crouched down next the sobbing girl.

"Are you okay?" her voice sang as she gently placed her hand on the girl's back.

She shook her head. "My hands hurt." She said in an endearingly whiny voice.

Bella took the girl's hands in her own, and without thought or hesitation, leaned in and kissed her scrapes. "Better?"

The girl shrugged.

I was shocked. I was so stunned I couldn't even move. My family's amaze matched mine; Jasper's was more astounded than any of ours. He knew better than most how out of control newborns were, especially around flowing blood.

"Come on," Bella said to the little girl. "Let's go wash of your hands." She carefully and easily lifted the child into her arms and carried her to the fountain and helped her rinse the blood off her hands. The girl still looked upset. Bella saw this as easily as I did. She stroked the girl's hair comfortingly. "You know," she started with an amused smile. The girl looked up at her. "When boys are mean to you, it means they like you."

The girl's bothered expression almost instantaneously became ecstatic. She liked the idea of the boy having a crush on her; she liked the idea very much. She giggled, and Bella's beautiful smile widened. She ruffled the girl's hair, making her laugh more.

"Now I think you should go home." She said, still smiling, "I'm sure your mom wouldn't want you out all alone on a cloudy day."

The girl nodded. "Thank you." She said as she stood up. "You're a lot nicer than the other people dressed in grey."

Bella laughed a sound of the most beautiful silver bells. "Don't worry about them; they're all just grumpy."

The girl giggled again, then skipped away towards her home.

Bella smiled after her as she left, then let out a contended sigh as she turned back to walk towards us. She seemingly ignored the fact that every one of us was gaping at her.

"I didn't think it was possible." Carlisle said. "But I guess if anyone could do it, it would be you."

Bella smiled timidly. She would be blushing.

"How old _are_ you?" Jasper demanded. "I mean, you just _kissed_ fresh human blood and you didn't so much as wince! Besides, that girl smelled good."

"Jasper!" Bella shouted as though she was offended that he even noted such a thing. "She was just a little girl!" Like that made up for her instincts. "It wasn't _easy_, but it was worth it." She went on to explain. "You saw how happy she was." The memory brought a smile to her face. We were all still shocked, only Carlisle seemed to be able to accept that such behavior was even viable.

"You've never drunk human blood, have you?" he asked, pride emanating from every side of him.

Bella beamed at him. "Nope."

"That's truly something." He said with a proud smile. "Not even I could have been that close to blood that young and be able to keep my head straight."

Bella would-have-blushed again.

"Can we go shopping now?" Alice asked impatiently. "_Please!_"

JPOV

Alice brought me shopping with her and Bella. Apparently I needed more Italian clothes. I suspected that the real reason behind Alice bringing me was because she wanted me to be able to tell her what Bella was feeling if her shield dropped for even a fraction of a second, and I usually wasn't wrong when it came to suspecting Alice's ulterior motives. I still couldn't understand how Bella had so easily resisted human blood, but I didn't want to spoil Alice's fun by starting an interrogation. We were just walking out of the third store we had shopped in when Alice stopped abruptly. Her eyes were glazed over, seeing the future instead of what was in front of her. But this wasn't one of her peaceful visions. Her eyes betrayed the slightest amount of anxiety that nobody but me ever seemed to notice. She suddenly looked back up to us.

"I need to go talk to Carlisle." She said dismissively. She didn't want to talk about it, I was sure, but she glanced at me, silently promising she would explain later.

"Should we come with you?" Bella asked.

"Oh no you don't. Just because I have to go doesn't mean you're getting out of shopping." Alice reprimanded. She turned to me. "I can trust you with this crucial task, can't I?" she asked me teasingly.

I laughed. "She'll be the best dressed vampire the guard has ever seen, I promise." I responded just as playfully. Alice smiled, and danced away, back towards the Volturi caslte.

"Please let me buy some t-shirts and jeans!" Bella begged once she was sure Alice was out of earshot.

I chuckled. "And break my promise to Alice? Sorry, Bells, can't help you there."

She sighed.

"Besides," I started, remembering that I wanted to talk to her about her self-restraint as soon as I had a moment alone with her, "I wanted to talk to you."

She looked up at me with a curious expression. She didn't know what I was talking about.

"The little girl." I explained.

"Oh… right." She looked around at all the people in the busy street. She hadn't said anything, but I knew she was right. There were too many people here to risk talking about our kind.

"Maybe somewhere else." I offered.

She still looked undecided. "We can put off shopping until later." That got her.

"Just outside the city, come on."

I followed her silently through the city streets to the western gate. We walked out and around the wall a bit, until we were out of earshot of the guards that patrolled the gates.

"How did you do it?" I asked her. "How could you resist?"

She sighed. "I don't know." She said, but there was something she was keeping from me, I could tell.

There was a long silence, and she finally realized I was waiting for more.

"Maybe it's just that much easier for me because I've never tasted it before, maybe it's because I knew what it would be like beforehand, I don't know." She was almost ranting now, and her words were flowing faster than was normal. "Every time I smell it, I just don't think about how it would taste, I think about how who would be at their funeral, and I couldn't go through with it if I wanted to." She sighed again. I didn't think she was aware of it, but her shield was wavering ever so slightly. She was sad, that much I could tell, but the extent of it was covered.

"Isn't it painful?" I asked.

"There are worse pains." She explained as I could feel her carefully composed shield deteriorate. Her misery was becoming clearer. "Pains that, despite popular belief, don't fade with time and sure as hell don't vanish with a change of the wind."

Her shield was gone. I could feel it, the pain she was referring to; it was horrible. I could tell that it wasn't anything new, and I couldn't help but wonder how she'd been able to put on such a happy face when she was every bit as hurt and broken as Edward was.

She was exactly as hurt as he was. That's why this pain was familiar to me; I'd felt it through him. "You still love him, don't you?" I asked.

She looked up at me; she was surprised. A part of me was relieved to not have to guess at her feelings anymore.

"We aren't having this conversation." She said with a tone of finality.

That was a yes.

I almost laughed. All of this was so unnecessary! If for one second she understood how deeply he felt for her, neither of them would ever have to be in this much agony ever again.

"Can we have a different conversation, then?" I asked with an almost merry tone.

She looked at me like I was crazy. "About what?"

"About why we had to leave Forks." I explained. "There seems to be some miscommunication."

"No, he communicated why he left pretty easily." She said. "I can't _blame_ him for not loving me."

"That's the very miscommunication I'm talking about, though." I explained. I could feel her confusion. "Allow me to clarify."

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Ah… cliffhangers…

So, I've been noticing that a lot of people have been adding the story to their favorites, but not to their alert, which honestly, I don't really get…

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	6. Chapter 6

Just to clear something up, Bella's eyes are described as red in the last few chapters because she's still very much so a newborn

And to BerryElilBunny, I'm so sorry! Please don't stab with with a lint roller! I'll do anything! Please, I have a family!!!!!

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"_No, he communicated why he left pretty easily." She said. "I can't blame him for not loving me."_

"_That's the very miscommunication I'm talking about, though." I explained. I could feel her confusion. "Allow me to clarify."_

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And now he does, enjoy!

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BPOV

After a minute or so of letting the shock wear off, I finally found my voice.

"He- he _loves_ me?" I asked, unable to believe the words, even as they came out of my own mouth. Jasper's story made no sense, but it was nearly flawless. If Edward really did love me, if he left me to protect me and had been a miserable wreck since then, only one thing didn't make sense. "He's been so happy here, though."

"That was all me. I've been putting a lot of time and effort into fabricating happiness for him while we're around you." Jasper explained.

"Why does he want to pretend to be happy?" I asked.

"Why do you?" He countered.

"I don't want him to feel guilty about not loving me." I said. It took a second for me to realize what I'd said. "He doesn't want me to feel guilty?" I asked, astounded at how the excuse made so much sense when I used, and sounded so ridiculous of a reason for him.

Jasper nodded.

I was silent again for another minute.

"He loves me?" I asked again.

"Immensely."

His words had finally begun to sink in, and they made sense. Of course Edward would do whatever it took to protect me from his kind. Of course he would think that danger made it not worth it. Of course he wouldn't understand how much I loved him, he never seemed to. It all seemed so obvious now, I was actually angry I hadn't realized it earlier. How could I have fallen for his happy façade? Looking back, it was so obvious he was miserable.

I had to see him.

"I have to go." I said quietly.

Jasper nodded, he needed no more explanation.

I knew I wouldn't be able to walk at human speed throughout the city, so I ran around the city to the secret entrance into the castle on the eastern face. I ran thought the catacombs of tunnels that snaked under the city until I came into the basement of the castle. I didn't stop running as I followed his scent into a smaller guest room where he was lying back on the largely unnecessary bed, misery leaking from him. I approached him slowly, and he didn't seem to realize me until I was only a step away from where he lay. He sat up slowly as I sat down at the foot of the bed.

"So…" I said conversationally.

"So…" he responded, neither really trying to hide his misery, nor show it to me.

"Jasper's been fabricating happiness for you, huh?" I asked uneasily.

"He told you that." It should have been a question, but it wasn't.

"He didn't have to," or really, he shouldn't have had to, "but he did."

Edward was silent. He was looking at his own lap, miserable and ashamed. After what was far too long of waiting for him to speak, I put my hand on his cheek and lifted his head up to look into his eyes. His head leaned into my hand almost unwillingly, like a burn being put in cold water. His hand twitched up for a second, as if to join mine on his cheek, but he obviously decided against it.

"I don't _want_ you to be miserable." I said.

He sighed, and the ashamed look was back. "Then I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all that I've put you through, all the horrible things I've done to you, I'm sorry I ever left you unprotected, I'm sorry I've done nothing right by you, and now I'm sorry for upsetting you once again." He said so quickly that if I'd been a human I knew I wouldn't have caught it all. He let his face fall from my hand. I put my hand right back where it was on his cheek, and leaned in this time before pulling his head up. When I didn't our faces were only inches apart.

"I want you to be happy." I said, both our breathing patterns slipping as we realized just how close we were. I stared into his eyes for a long moment; noticing the slightest glint of hope, and somehow just knowing that it was me he was hoping for. I closed the space between our lips so quickly I'm honestly not sure if it actually counted as a movement. He was rigid with shock for split second, before kissing me back more fiercely than he ever had while I was human. I pushed him back down onto the bed as we kissed, and he wrapped one arm around my back and let the other weave into my hair.

It must have been a long time, but it seemed all too short when we finally separated. As we stared into each other's eyes, neither of us loosed our hold on the other.

"Still miserable?" I asked, trying to sound teasing, though my ragged breathing ruined the effect.

He groaned. "Please don't tell me that's why you're doing this!" He almost sounded like he was begging.

"Partially," I allowed. He groaned again. "Then there was also _my_ misery to take into account." I rest my head on his shoulder and kissed the side of his neck. "I feel _much_ better now, though."

He laughed once, relieved. "I love you." He said.

"I love you, too." I responded, euphoric at the fact that I could say those words again. The perfect, silent moment was ruined within seconds; Demetri was pushing against my shield, trying to find out where I was. I groaned.

"Bella?" Edward asked, worried, even, as my hands around his neck started to loosen.

"Demetri is looking for me." I explained.

He looked confused.

"_Aro_ is looking for me." I clarified.

"Should I come with you?" He asked, it was obvious he wanted to.

"You'd better not. Aro is… easily aggravated when it comes to guard business." I told him.

He sighed as he loosened his grip on me. He didn't want to let go of me any more than I wanted to let go of him.

"Go to the library." I suggested, knowing his family would be there. "I'll meet you there afterwards. Besides, you need to prepare your family to meet your new girlfriend." I said with a smile. He smiled too, and kissed me briefly one last time before letting me go.

I walked out of the room, but ran the rest of the way, not wanting to test Aro's impatience. I was smiling as I walked into the room, though I was slightly aware that everyone's face was troubled. But how could I not be in high spirits now? Soon I would be living with Edward and his family, and I would finally be somewhere where I felt I belonged. The only question left was when to tell Aro I was resigning.

"I had a conversation with Carlisle today." Aro began to say to all of us. He had my undivided attention the second he said Carlisle's name. "His daughter, Alice, as you all know, can see things that will happen, and she has seen us having some… _visitors_ over the next few days." He explained. "You all know what this means. William and Olivia have caught wind of our open invitation, as we expected, and are coming to confirm their fears." He said, looking to me. "Will you be ready?" he asked me.

I wanted to cry. If I were still a human, I was sure tears would be silently streaking down my face. How could I have so foolishly forgotten my obligation here? I could I have looked over the fact that I had been training in preparation for a war all year? How could I have for even one fleeting moment thought that I could so easily just leave the Volturi?

William and Olivia were the greatest threat the Volturi ever faced. It would take them a year or two, no time at all to us, to raise an undefeatable army. William could sense the powers and their magnitude not only in other vampires, but also the potential in humans, and Olivia could make those without a purpose follow her blindly. Their plan was as simple as it was practical: William finds those with great power, they change them, and Olivia recruits them before they can find anything else to attach themselves to. Their own powers were nothing particularly special, and their potential to raise an army wasn't threatening until just two years ago, when their plans to take over the Volturi's position as royalty became known. The only difference: they believe vampires shouldn't hide from the human race; they should dominate over them.

Aro spent the first year worrying about what he would do if such a powerful army did arise, but hasn't feared them since my power was discovered. Both he and William knew that their only advantage was the special abilities of the vampires on their side, and as long as I could rid them of that, they didn't stand a chance.

I couldn't leave. I was all that was preventing a war.

"Yes, Aro, I'm ready." I said, wishing I didn't have to be. Wishing there was some way I could still leave with the Cullens. But the wonderful fantasy of my life with them was never going to be anything more than that: a fantasy.

"We should ask our guest to leave before _they_ get here." Aro said. "Felix, Bella, would you please let them know?"

"Of course." I said sadly.

Aro was both confused and disturbed by my despondency. He beckoned me over, and held out his hand for me to explain.

I sighed as I put my hand in his and dropped my shield. I only let through the events of today, as I knew what he was looking for and everything else he already knew.

"I see." He mused as he came to understand every conclusion I had come to. I set off to the library, with Felix shortly behind me, as the rest of the guard dispersed.

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Ever realize how in the twilight books every time Edward and Bella start to get to some sort of happy ending, something gets in the way of it? Well, being a twilight fanfiction, I could let the spirit of the story die!

^_^


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